Lame button graphic from lazy Google image search.

I got my general election sample ballot in the mail! It’s like xmas until I discover O’Biden and McPalin aren’t the only ones running for POTUS. WTF?

Who are all these other pretenders? Apart from an appearance on Bill Maher, Nader has been (wonderfully) absent from… well, from any coverage at all. And what about his runningmate Matt Gonzalez? How has he avoided the Palin-like scrutiny thus far? Doesn’t anyone realize he’d be only one 74-yr-old, election-robbing not to mention really annoying heartbeat away from the presidency?

And what of Alan Keyes’ VP pick? Actually, a “President Wiley S. Drake Sr.” would sound kinda cool in a Looney Toons sorta way. Then there’s the Green Party’s double threat, Cynthia McKinney (who thinks Bush had advance knowledge of the 9/11 attacks) and her “Hip-Hop Activist” running mate, Rosa Clemente for the only ticket without a Y-chromosome.

Finally, there’s Bob Barr, the Libertarian who opposes same-sex marriage (and tried to get Clinton impeached). Dear Bob, one look at your picture makes methinks thou dost protest too much!

After that, the ballot goes on with several state and county measures I should but don’t care that much about. Still, my democratic-process guilt will eventually get the better of me and I’ll study them just enough to form an opinion I can live with.

I think I’ll vote for Superior Court Commissioner, Rocky L. Crabb for Superior Court Judge on the name alone.