Having missed the VP debate tonight to attend the Open House at my daughter’s elementary school, I watched the recorded “showdown” with a unique perspective. You see, while y’alls were watching Joey the Shark masacre Sarah the Fauxbot, I was sitting on miniature plastic chairs, surrounded by construction paper art, and listening to a teacher [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Rant Farm’
September 13, 2008
Apology Accepted
It’s being reported that tomorrow, The Church of England will officially apologize for condemning the theories of Charles Darwin on his 200th birthday. They’re phrasing it as “misunderstanding” his theory of evolution, and the apology will be released on their website - so you know they really mean it!
Pictured above is one of several critics [...]
May 31, 2008
Come On, Eileen
I checked. In the last year, my wife and I spent exactly $4,220.35 at Target. Diapers, etc. It adds up. What would you spend to keep us as customers? $100? $50?
Today, I tried to return a $24 lampshade (didn’t fit) to Target’s Burbank store. I had lost the receipt, but the return policy says you [...]
May 16, 2008
California 1, Pope Benny 0
Yesterday’s ruling made me proud to be a native Californian.
In other news, sore-looser Pope Benny comes out today and proves how antiquated the Catholic Church’s views are, totally disregarding human behavior in favor of meaningless dogma.
Just go away, Pope. You and your old-timey views are irrelevant.
May 11, 2008
Charlie Wilson’s What The…?
I had the opportunity to read the script before the film was released, and I was always a little shocked that more wasn’t made of the film’s impact (and the story’s legacy) when it reached theaters
I just finally watched Charlie Wilson’s War on DVD. Now I know why. THEY REMOVED ALL THE BALLS FROM THE [...]
May 9, 2008
WTF Is Wrong With People?
So I’m driving into work this morning, through glamorous downtown Beverly Hills, when I spot a well-heeled, middle-aged man in tan slacks and a green cashmere sweater PEEING AGAINST A WALL IN PLAIN SIGHT! I wasn’t quick enough with my iPhone to snap a photo, but here’s the view from Google Street View:
Thankfully, one of [...]
November 19, 2007
Lost All Faith In Lesley Stahl And A Little In 60 Minutes
Anybody watch this absurd 60 Minutes segment about adding dietary stats on fast food menus? Holy hell! Fast food Co’s have volunteered to offer it on websites, in-store posters and on packaging. No. That’s not enough for supreme douchebag and Health Commish of NYC, Dr. Thomas Frieden. He wants them to list it up on [...]
October 26, 2007
Paparazzi Pond Scum
“When I grow up, I want to chase train-wreck celebutards around town to the nail salon, competing with 20 other camera-toting douchebags taking the same shots, hoping mine will sell for 150 bucks to TMZ.com”
I have the privilege of living near a kind of oasis for ParisBritneyLindsay types when they want to avoid their fans. [...]
