Roadside Church, Maui
Jesus is coming soon? God, I hope so. We got pirates and people storming “churches” wielding samurai swords down here! We could use some help.
Maybe he could serve in the Obama administration. National Security Adviser is still open, but feels a little risky. Health and Human Services? Maybe Rahmbo would step aside so Obama could get a bumper sticker that says: “God is my Chief of Staff.”
Young Barack Obama
Tonight, I elected a black man to be my President. Of course, that’s not why I voted for him or why he’ll make a great POTUS, but it makes his – now, America’s – story all the more inspiring.
I grew up on movies like The Candidate and later got hooked on The West Wing. Stories about heretical idealists who get a chance to be the leaders we all hope for.
So here comes this young guy who inspires hope and speaks of change. His message sounds like it was written by Aaron Sorkin and what do you know? People start believing it. It’ll never work. Oh yeah, on top of it, he’s smart and that hasn’t worked out so well in the last two elections. To add insult to injury: He’s a black guy with a muslim name.
I have to say I gave up on Americans during the last two elections. We chose an average Joe over the smartest guy in the room twice to lead our country.
But tonight, as my daughter ran up to her girlfriend and said “Who did you vote for? Obama? Me too!” and ran off in glee I thought: Good for you, America.
Because not only do we get the smartest guy in the class. Not only do we get better health care, energy and tax programs, etc., but we look really good to the rest of the world. Internationally, we just got an Extreme Makeover. The new perception of Americans is that of a nation that demanded change from a black man with a muslim name after considering another man who was once as idealistic, but changed and could not fool us now.
That’s another big reason to restore faith in America. We saw through McCain. Talk about a man who lost his way in life (I hope Oliver Stone get’s a hold of McCain’s story).
I had the pleasure of hearing Michelle Obama speak at a private fundraiser in September 2007. She made an obvious point that really stuck with me: Think of what it will mean to the millions of young black boys who hear “someday, you could be President” and never really believe it. Well now they can.
And my daughters will never know life any other way.
Larry Charles & Bill Maher. Photo:Mark Blinch/Reuters
Obviously, I loved Religulous. It was funny and made its point perfectly. Of course this means as much as Trekkie’s review of the next Star Trek movie. But we had to get it out of the way.
First off, the “easy targets” argument against Maher’s interviews with “obviously fringe nut-jobs” I’ve encountered with friends and the New York Times – doesn’t hold up. He interviews a U.S. Senator, a “Senior Vatican Priest” and plenty of ordinary people on the street. And yes, there are some whack-jobs in there too, but if you believe for one minute that they don’t represent the views and beliefs of huge swaths of the population, you’d better think again.
I was really taken by the statistic from a Pew study citing 16 percent of Americans claim no religious affiliation, making the nonreligious minority a larger group than African-Americans. Now, we’re weeks away from electing a black President (hopefully). Can you imagine a time when America could accept a nonreligious leader? I can’t.
Finally, knowing I was the choir being preached to, I must say I was surprised by the last 10 minutes that quickly went from smart-ass jabs at believers to a “heed my warning” sentiment from Maher himself. He practically takes a Dawkinsian militant stance, suggesting that non-believers make themselves known lest we allow religious leaders to bring about the apocalypse as a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is a scary notion that turns my existing cynicism towards organized religion into holy-shit, run-for-the-hills fear.
Bottom line: The film is a very entertaining cross between Borat and Fahrenheit 911. I wish everyone would see it, but I’m sure it will be written off by those who need to hear its message the most.
Belle and Sarah
Having missed the VP debate tonight to attend the Open House at my daughter’s elementary school, I watched the recorded “showdown” with a unique perspective. You see, while y’alls were watching Joey the Shark masacre Sarah the Fauxbot, I was sitting on miniature plastic chairs, surrounded by construction paper art, and listening to a teacher who’s used to speaking to children address us adults.
So while I watched later, all I could think of was how great Sarah would be at reading a Disney Princess story to my young daughters in class. SHE’S JUST SO DAMNED ADORABLE. She has perfected her cutesy act and rehearsed her lines so well that I feel like I’m watching a B-list actress in a Lifetime movie about Sarah Palin.
And that’s why we all should be so frightened by the GOP machine that forced McCain into choosing her.
As much as I wanted her to FAIL, I’m glad she didn’t because it actually allowed Biden to demonstrate how obviously superior he is to her on his own merits. He was so strong in the second half that even Palin’s folksy shine started to lose its lustre.
Lame button graphic from lazy Google image search.
I got my general election sample ballot in the mail! It’s like xmas until I discover O’Biden and McPalin aren’t the only ones running for POTUS. WTF?
Who are all these other pretenders? Apart from an appearance on Bill Maher, Nader has been (wonderfully) absent from… well, from any coverage at all. And what about his runningmate Matt Gonzalez? How has he avoided the Palin-like scrutiny thus far? Doesn’t anyone realize he’d be only one 74-yr-old, election-robbing not to mention really annoying heartbeat away from the presidency?
And what of Alan Keyes’ VP pick? Actually, a “President Wiley S. Drake Sr.” would sound kinda cool in a Looney Toons sorta way. Then there’s the Green Party’s double threat, Cynthia McKinney (who thinks Bush had advance knowledge of the 9/11 attacks) and her “Hip-Hop Activist” running mate, Rosa Clemente for the only ticket without a Y-chromosome.
Finally, there’s Bob Barr, the Libertarian who opposes same-sex marriage (and tried to get Clinton impeached). Dear Bob, one look at your picture makes methinks thou dost protest too much!
After that, the ballot goes on with several state and county measures I should but don’t care that much about. Still, my democratic-process guilt will eventually get the better of me and I’ll study them just enough to form an opinion I can live with.
I think I’ll vote for Superior Court Commissioner, Rocky L. Crabb for Superior Court Judge on the name alone.
Gentleman outside Peets in Beverly Hills
Help! I’ve been profiled!
This gentleman, asking passersby for spare change, looked at me walking past him on a Beverly Hills sidewalk the day before Rosh Hashanah and said “Hey man, start the New Year out right!” referring to me helping him in his quest for free money. Apparently, he just assumed that I… believed in god.
The nerve.
Conservative Minister Ann Widdecombe & Dr. Zaius
It’s being reported that tomorrow, The Church of England will officially apologize for condemning the theories of Charles Darwin on his 200th birthday. They’re phrasing it as “misunderstanding” his theory of evolution, and the apology will be released on their website – so you know they really mean it!
Pictured above is one of several critics of the move, Ann Widdecombe who says “We’ve already apologised for slavery and for the Crusades. When is it all going to stop?” Yeah, I mean… Come. On! This is really getting tiring, all this empty and feigned regret without really taking responsibility for all the murder and slavery in the name of god. Please. Lighten up already. We made some mistakes, we’re sorry. Okay?
Mother with "Fuck You" on her shirt while shopping at Gelsons Century City
I didn’t blog about the rockstar who brought his son to my daughter’s preschool picnic wearing a baseball cap that said FUCK on it. And I’ve got pretty liberal standards when it comes to my own young’ns dropping S and F bombs. My wife and I usually laugh and figure that a) it’s only a word, and b) if we make a big deal about it, it will surely get worse.
But walking around in public with profanity emblazoned on one’s clothing has always rubbed me the wrong way. It’s like someone yelling “Fuck” loudly in public without regard to other people’s sensibilities. It’s just common courtesy to realize maybe not everyone is as comfortable with it as you are. So when I saw this douchebag “mom” trolling around the supermarket with her sweet little girl in the cart wearing her “Fuck You” tank for all to see, I just had to get this off my chest.
When I was a kid, my mom would literally “wash my mouth out with soap” if I uttered profanity. My mom used bar soap. My wife’s mom used liquid dishsoap, but that’s a whole other horror story. It didn’t do much for my shitty-ass, fucking vocabulary, and while she was a hypocritical pottymouth herself, at least she didn’t wear “fuck you” on her clothing when I was around. Thanks mom.
Red & Green Lights Mark Occupied and Available Spaces at Westfield Century City
I can’t believe no one thought of this until now, but it’s the best thing that’s happened to parking since… well, I can’t think of any parking technology right now, but this is awesome (shut up). It’s a billion times easier to look down an aisle for green lights than cruise around like an asshole asking people if they’re leaving.
